Arouse in Yourself an Eager Want

Dale Carnegie, author of the indispensable best seller How to Win Friends and Influence People says a fundamental technique for getting people to change course is to “arouse in the other person an eager want”. In other words, get them to feel a strong desire that comes from within. Use psychology in your favor to create a win-win situation by getting the other person to want it.

Now, what if this “other person” is that part of you that feels like you “should” give yourself priority, you “should” get back into rhythm, rest and rejuvenate? We tell ourselves we “should”, but do we actually eagerly want to? Ask yourself this: what would it take for me to feel a deep seated desire for balance? Not a should, but a MUST!

For some it means understanding that me-at-my-shiniest is the best possible gift you could give to your team or family. For others, it takes seeing a loved one suffer from serious illness to develop a real concern for their own health. Let’s not wait for that to happen before waking up to what’s present. Take a moment, right now. Close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Recall a time, a moment, when you felt at the peak of health, balance and happiness. Now, ask yourself the question: what would it take to arouse an intense desire to get back into that rhythm?

Behavioral psychology is one of the most-studied fields in psychology, and it offers great insight into how to break bad habits and build up healthy ones in their place. This article recommends these 5 tips:

1. Realize the Reward of Your Bad Habit
2. Impose a Punishment or Remove a Reward for Your Bad Habit
3. Have a Replacement Ready
4. Use a Mix of Small and Large Rewards
5. Tell Others about Your Goals

#1 is very important. Realizing the reward highlights your ”eager want” for the bad habit. Root’s meditation expert Kat Lui says, “Most people try to analyze and solve their problems using logic. Which is great, except when it doesn’t get results. Sometimes the juicy stuff, the part of our psyche that runs our bad habits is buried deep in the subconscious. Through private guided meditations, we bypass logic to discover the underlying source of the impasse. A profound understanding emerges. It can be life changing!”

We also give #5 a big thumbs up – when we tell others about our goals, we hold ourselves accountable, and we can even ask others to hold us to our word. What new rhythm in life do you wish to create? Say it out loud. Post it in a prominent position (bathroom mirror, kitchen sink, at your desk). And now, tell 8 of your friends and co-workers. It is simple and effective. Let your goals be seen and you will commit to them.

For more tips on how to use psychology to create powerful habits, click here.

And lastly, we can’t say this one enough: get enough sleep! Our bodies respond to rhythm: “Hormones are like a symphony and circadian rhythms are the conductor”.  When we get regular sleep, the conductor follows a pattern, determining when and how our hormones “play” the physiological functions of our bodies, including our mental and emotional state. Read our blog about The Art of a Good Night’s Sleep.